MARRIAGE

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife”

This opening line from the most famous book of all time, Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen perfectly explains the typically narrow minded Indian mentality.

In India, marriage is not an activity of choice but a 20 something event that must happen before its too late. We created these stupid norms that certain things need to be done/achieved by certain age. Marriage should happen before the age 30, definitely 30, if not, that boy will be treated equivalent to an ISIS terrorist and that girl…. (well, I’ve decided not to use expletives, so I’ll leave it to your imagination).

Unlike the universal principle of “choosing” the mate which most people (including all animal species) in this world and all parallel universe does, we do not choose, SORRY, we are not supposed to choose our life partner. We have our parents to do that for us.

Match-Fixing: This is always discouraged and even illegal to do in sports. But in Indian marriages the society takes up the responsibility to fix our match. Boys and girls are treated as goods and advertisements will be posted for their sale. Girls with deep pockets can buy the groom of their choice. Discounts available depending on the Fairness, Job, Bank balance and the hair left on the head of a guy.

Do they even realize for a single second that we are the ones who would spend the remaining of our life with our life partner, so it will be better if we choose them based on our interests, mind-set, comfort, the space we are ready to provide each other?

No, they do not want us to do that because we might choose to be with a person of a different region, religion, caste, creed, sex and nationality. They want their so-called heritage or genes to be continued in their own religion or caste. Seriously even in the 21^st century, in the time of technological revolution, people are still saying NO to love marriages based on caste and religion.

Simply saying, the word “LOVE’ is a taboo and should be prohibited as per the society’s view.

I really don’t understand why people choose something in groom’s salary or daughter-in-law complexion or similarity in caste over LOVE.

These should be changed. Lack of open and free communication between parents and children in this country is widening the generation gap.

Marriages should be an act of love, instead they are often converted into transactions by exchanging dowry for the seven- figure salary of groom. The unnecessary importance given to the fat weddings is also a waste of money, at what cost? The funding is mostly done from the education the bride could never have.

Arranged marriages are largely overrated and marketed in a more glamourous way than they deserve. There are two alternatives for this, live-in relationships and Love marriages. The domestic violence act applies to both marriages and live-in relationships, and in the eyes of law, they are both equal. Hence maintenance laws, inheritance of property laws are applicable to both.

We have achieved liberty and equality as a constitutional right, but are we really free if there is no freedom to Love?

We proudly say that the rate of divorce in India is very less because of arranged marriages. Of course, let’s assume that most arranged marriages pass and most of the love marriages fail, but the difference lies in the amount of freedom one experience. If they are not happy with their partner, it is always better to take a divorce and move on with their lives than to live the entire life dying.

The very greatness of arranged(loveless) marriages can be observed in the silence of the many Indian households, where husband work overtime to spend less time at home and the wife spend time in the meaningless worship of god or in the naivety of television soaps, both still together only for the sake of children.

So finally, in the words of Oscar Wilde “Men marry because they are tired, women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.”

Dedicated to Hiphop Tamizha.

DEATH

The thing which is most uncertain and which most people fear for. Many people try to achieve and conquer many things but when it comes to death each and every one of them tries to avoid for as long as possible. Some never want to die even. People besides knowing that death is inevitable, their whole life try and run behind things which they can’t take to their afterlife bachelor party or things which are capable of defeating death. But despite knowing this, everyone rushes behind these mortal things which makes their life comfortable during their short journey in this world. These mortal things include success, fame, pride, money so on so forth. People fear death because they don’t know when it comes. But they don’t realise that death is a continuous process. In your life you die many times. You die a little when your favourite toy gets broken. You die a little when your crush falls in love with your best friend. You die a little when your best friend is being cheated and you cannot do anything about it. You die a lot when the girl you think is your life leaves you. You die a little when the cannot continue in the course/field you have chosen. You die a little when your father scolds you for no fault of yours. You die daily when you married a girl not by your choice but of your parents. You die a little when you cannot fulfil the wishes of your kids. Life prepares you for death. So, all your life there are many circumstances where death slowly eats you but you are naïve to understand. People who do understand do not accept.

But when you ask me what is death, I tell you that it is the greatest gift any human can get. Because it is the only thing that frees away all your miseries. Whatever they are, how much big they are, all wipes away with one single stroke. But people say it creates a void in the life of the people closest to you or your family. But as I see it, your family has certain responsibilities towards you and when you die their responsibilities are cleared and that makes their life a little easier. What I cannot understand is “Do people cry because an amazing person is dead or because they cannot live without that person?” Here too people are being a little selfish, aren’t they?

But it is very important to know that death should come for you and NOT vice versa. The very concept of suicide shouts the word COWARD. You didn’t have peace in this cruel world and when you commit suicide you won’t even have peace in the afterlife if there is any such world. Accept the fact that you have come a long way in your life and it is only a matter of time before things go back to normal. Hell man, who am I trying to motivate. Hard truth “THINGS DON’T COME BACK TO NORMAL, IF ANYTHING IT BECOMES MUCH WORSE”. You got no choice but to stand alone and fight and show this fu**ing world that you are courageous enough to LIVE in all those moments where you wanted to die.

So bottom line, stop fearing about death and running behind meaningless things. Try and gather moments and memories for as long as you live and find peace and happiness with whatever shit you got left.  

Dedicated to the people who conquered the thoughts of suicide and are living with a detached soul.

Oh my God...........Expectations

The biggest and the most dangerous problem I think the world is facing and will face in the foreseeable future is not Global warming or pollution or kim jong un, it is EXPECTATION.

As per oxford dictionary expectation means a strong belief that something will happen or be the case. It is okay to have expectation or beliefs about our future and our life but the real problem exists when someone else expects something from us. Most of the cases we don’t give a damn f**k about others expectations on us but when it origins from people that we share bond or blood, it becomes real pain the a**.

These people whom we share bond or blood have a certain right on us. They may be parents, friends, teachers, boyfriend or girlfriend. They are by law expected to have some expectations but by gods grace these expectations do have no limits. As soon as one expectation is achieved or reached the next one pops out. So virtually this cycle never ends and unfortunately most of the human beings fall in this vicious circle of reaching up to the expectations people have on them.

What we should do then?

Well actually there is nothing we can do. No one asked them to raise expectations on us and obviously we need not prove anything to them. As long as we know our capacities and capabilities and our goal we need not do anything but to constantly strive towards achieving our goal. And again this so called goal should not origin from expectations of others.

Hell, each and everything in this world, is somehow interlinked with expectations. Even the most powerful man in the world, the worlds richest, the worlds most influential each and everyone’s life is based on the foundations of these expectations. Our very system of democracy is based on this. People make presidents and bring them down based on the fulfilment of their expectations.

Why expectations are dangerous?

 Because it makes sure that we live our life not for our sake but for the sake of others. For the simple reason of making them happy, by reaching their expectations what am “I” getting? Am I really happy doing those things? Are their expectations reasonable? Can I reach them without compromising my ideals, my thoughts, my attitude, my life?

These are the questions each and everyone of us should ask ourselves first. Because those people who have expectations say that they are having expectations on us so that we can reach them and be happy and successful in life. Well what if we can’t reach them?

The biggest reason behind suicides rests in the very basic fact of not able to reach expectations.

So finally, to all the people in this world and all other parallel universes, STOP EXPECTING FROM OTHERS and to the ones that are dying to reach the expectations, it is important to tell your fricking little minds that OUR EXPECTATIONS ON US is the only thing that matters.

Rest everyone and everything could go to hell or any equivalent country in this world.